Actually, the batteries are a dud. I went to buy some, and the ones I needed were THE ONLY ONES THEY WERE OUT OF. Rude. But, I know I’ve been at least maintaining the weightloss. Plus, I’m planning on getting a new cell phone sometime soon, and I’ll get the batteries when I get the phone.

I’m doing my Zumba game for 90 days in a row. That’s my challenge, anyway. My boyfriend just got P90X - and that’s too intense for me. But I’m secretly betting that I can do my Zumba and reach my goal size faster than he can. 

It’s a secret because if I don’t win, he doesn’t have to know. lol ;)

• how one comment can make you feel like you’re invincible.
• how a stranger can boost your confidence saying the same thing as [insert close relation here].
• how much weight I’ve lost without even trying.
• how much I love, respect, and admire you all. Thank you for being yourselves, which is amazing! :)

I’ve been off Tumblr for a little while, and honestly, I got my focus back. Maybe the blogging life isn’t a good motivation strategy for me.

I’ve lost about 5 lbs and I’m back to where I was a few months ago.

This break is still on-going, but I feel like I want to let my followers know how it’s going and such.

Tumblr hasn’t really helped me much in my dieting escapades, so for a while I’m going to go at it alone. I’ll still log in time to time to see what’s new, but if any of you wonder where I am - well, I’m on a tumblr-vacation.

I need to focus on me right now and getting into the best shape I possibly can. I need to stop the self-loathing and feeling the constant need to diet. That’s a pressure I can’t handle. That pressure makes me eat and later feel bad about it. Eating right is what I need. Exercising every day is what I need. 

No offense to my followers. I love you all, I promise. This is just something I need to do for myself. I’m sorry if I let you down in any way. Any questions you have or if you want to get in touch with me or just say hi - my ask box is always open. I have an app on my phone, too, so it will tell me when I log in.

Thanks for trying, tumblr. I’ll see you later!

(Source: must-be-a-lesbian, via talk-skinny-to-me)

I don’t want to eat anymore.

That number is obviously not 1200.

It’s back and forth- I don’t eat enough, then I eat something to make up the calorie difference, then I binge. Then I feel terrible and try again tomorrow.

Quite honestly, I’m scared. Scared to fall victim to a skinny obsession.

Maybe that’s why I sabotage myself. Maybe I’m just too afraid to go back to what I was because I didn’t like it. I don’t like it. I don’t want it. But I want to be healthier. I want to be skinnier.

I hate my scale. I hate my body. I hate eating & exercising & counting.

But I’m a normal person.

I wish it was easier. I wish it was effortless.

I see my body and my entire being as two different things. They are one in the same, but I think about the two differently. I hate my body, but I like who I am otherwise.

I want to be the girl who gets stared at. I want to feel wanted. I want clothes that don’t fit because they’re too big. I want to feel deserving of the attention my boyfriend gives to my body and me.

I want it. I’m going after it.

Wow. I was absolutely terrible at dieting. Lucky for me, it was that time of the month and for whatever reason, I don’t really gain any weight if I over eat. So it’s like I’m picking up where I left off almost.

Weekends were supposed to be my free days on my plan, but since I cheated the last couple days, I’m going to just stick to what I’m supposed to be doing. Besides, I need to embrace the healthy habits again. I don’t want to be this weight forever.

So far, as of right before dinner, I know that I can stick to my calorie goals. & I will.

P.S. It’s really hot right now. It’s St. Patrick’s Day… It’s March. It isn’t supposed to be 80+ degrees in Illinois.

fat-shack:

wow

(via thin-to-fit-in)

(Source: bonesinbikinis, via skinny-thoughts)

(Source: defyingdeathwithdiego, via thin-to-fit-in)